Monday, November 16, 2015

'Come on baby light my fire'

A little more about what lit my "fire'"

      I had always been an active child and even well into my preteens.  As a kid my father built me a tree swing; raked piles of leaves to jump in; built igloos or ice forts; and had me going all over. I use to play out in the woods for hours. As a preteen my father got me into softball but admittedly I was no good so I was put in outfield. I ended up more interested in destroying ant hills and picking purple flowers than anything else and played maybe 2 years. After that (or maybe around the end of softball) my grandmother got me into gymnastics for a couple of years. And when I was in 7th and 8th grade I was a cheerleader for the basketball team, my mother never missed a routine.

     When I got to High School I had what my mother lovingly referred to as 'baby fat' (I called it muffin top but tomato tomatoe?) and I was not interested in cheerleading AT ALL.  I became far less active,  more  self-conscious, more anxious, and it all lead to depression. My sophomore year I was the heaviest I had been (I believe my heaviest was 135 pounds standing at 5'2).  This was my "too chubby" phase as I referred to in my last post. A friend and I got a gym membership but it was moreso a social gathering spot then an active and serious attempt at a healthier lifestyle. Often we'd munch Burger King afterward :-x 

   Fast forward to college at Boston University. My mother became ill and had to do an experimental drug series that only had 40% success rate. Between working 2 jobs (eventually I did quit 1) and full time school at night my anxiety was so bad I was forced to go on daily anxiety medication as my weight slid down down down. I was MISERABLE on daily medication and took myself off of it against Doctors orders. I just couldn't stand how I felt on it. I wanted to try something else since my Doctor ignored my requests for alternatives to the daily medication. I dabbled with fitness here and there but nutrition and routine exercise were not high on my priority list. It wasn't until 2011 when I graduated from BU, got out of a 3 year long relationship, and moved in with a friend that I started working out more routinely and convinced my Doctor to put me on as needed medication. She complied, despite the fact that at one point I dwindled down to a measly 93 pounds. I had tried everything including eating Mcdonald's daily just to gain fat, weight, anything. But nothing was working and I was not gaining ANY weight. It seems like a dream but for me, it was a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Finally I decided to forgo the 'let me try' diets and just started delving more and more into different fitness and health related activities.

   I was going to hula hoop classes, fitness classes, belly dance classes, and trying to eat a little healthier. I was going for nature walks when it was warm and putting in significant effort into my fitness.  I even tried acupuncture which soothed anxiety/depression and migraine symptoms. Eventually my mother's condition improved 100%. After that it was almost like everything was falling into place.  I was working out more and getting compliments. I even got the diagnosis on my knee issues from childhood! I came entirely OFF my anxiety meds, OFF my migraine meds, and was generally feeling pretty dang good about the 'newness' of my life. I had gotten over a bad relationship, started dating, and started loving how I felt in my own skin.

    Alas, life is not so simple and before I knew it I was tossed back onto the roller coaster that is life. I got a call that my father was diagnosed with stage 3 throat cancer. Within 2 weeks this had been escalated to stage 4. He had an emergency partial laryngectomy and Doctors said wouldn't talk for a while, if ever. Fitness took a backside, life took a backside---it was a blow to have one parent recover as another one got sick. Words cannot properly convey the feelings I felt dealing with all of that.

   Once my dad went into remission for cancer he began having all sorts of other health related issues from the chemo and radiation treatments. He is now talking, though he will never sound quite like his old self, and I am so thankful for every day I get to spend with him. Depsite his ongoing health issues, once he went into remission (and my mother had not had any further major issues) I finally felt I could get back to ME.

    I was set up by my mother on a blind date with a "sweet" guy. He was a little younger than I was use to but I figured 'why not' as what I was doing was not working. We really hit it off and almost a full year later we are still together. He inspires me everyday because he was at one point almost DOUBLE his weight (I'll ask him and possibly share pictures later). Through healthier eating and weightlifting he was able to lose over 160 pounds and drop from about 400 to 240. This astonishes me. I think he is SO strong and powerful emotionally. He has opened my eyes up to what hard work and determination can really do for the human spirit. It just wakes me up to say "Um hello, what's your excuse again?"

    So in summation, my 'fire' for health and fitness was smoldering from my years of teen angst through present. The ability to wean myself off of daily medications re-lit that fire until parental health complications threatened its rekindling. When life was quiet enough  for me to slow down, I met one of the best men ever to be my partner. He inspires me to push myself to achieve my own fitness goals because he has done so much in the realm of physical self improvement. Through his support and continued goals of leading a more active, healthier lifestyle I have relit my fire to its hottest yet. From here I expect this fire, this passion, to only grow. I hope to spread it like a contagion to others looking for a better way of life.

Stay tuned
Thank you for reading
Sincerely
Tiesha Braley

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